Matter of Spoiling

Few days ago I visited my friend’s house. He told me that he just bought a new car for his son. I was surprised, last month he said to me that he was broke because of his wage had been cut, and now he bought a new car for his son. So I assumed his economic condition is better now and I congratulated him. But then he said that he actually still broke. He bought the car with 5 year credit and he still doesn’t know how he will pay the installment. I was shocked and I asked why then he bought the car if he cannot afford it. He explained to me that his son was mad at him for not having his own car. His son said that he is ashamed to his friend because all of them have their own car. His son even threatened that he will runaway if my friend didn’t buy him a car. So my friend told me he got no choice but to buy the car.

Nowadays we often see thing like that happen. When the kid didn’t get what they want, they started to get mad at their parents by yelling, talking using harsh words or pointing finger at their parents face. This is not right and both the parents and the children are responsible for this to happen.
In my view, children supposed to respect and love their parents because of many factors. First, obviously parents are the one who gave children life. Second parents are the provider for children, they gave love, affection, good house to live in, food to eat and everything they can give to their children, hoping that their children would have a happy and successful life. Third parents are children protectors, they always guard their children and get them off from what they think is dangerous for their children. So what gives the reason for a child to mad at their parent? Nothing. Children need to understand their parents that they also human, they can also make mistakes. Another thing is when parents didn’t give children what they want doesn’t mean that the parents didn’t love the children. The children need to understand that it’s not easy for parents to earn money and their parents’ money is not unlimited. Children also need to learn to be frugal and not over consumptive, so they are not easily taunted by their friends to buy things that they actually don’t need.

On the other side, parents also responsible for this kind of thing to happen. It’s common nowadays for parents buying everything they children want, even when they actually cannot afford it. They think they can make their children happy this way and that way their children will love them more. Well, the parents are wrong. This kind of act will make the children suffer in the future and also there’s probability that they will hate you. I will explain why this can happen.
First, giving everything the children want will only make them spoiled children. This is bad, because they grew up with the mindset that they don’t need to do anything but they still can get everything, this will only make them lazy and weak person. This way the child will not have ambition, competitiveness and aspiration to become better since their life now is already perfect. The other thing is that the children will not used to face hardship because they never need an effort to get what they want. And when they become adult and left their parents, the children will get crushed by the world, they can’t survive. Nobody like spoiled brat. When they face hardship in their life they will give up. Spoiled children usually don’t strive to have a better life since they have no ambition or competitiveness. You can see that many self-made billionaires in this world are from poor family when they were little. Remember parents can show love without spoiling the children. Spoiling will only ruin the children life.

Second, giving everything the children want will only make them think parents as their “money maker” not as someone they should respect and love, and when the children didn’t get what they wanted they will mad and hate their parents, and some children even hate their parents because simple thing like this. Other apparent thing is that over time the children wants will become more and more demanding and uncontrollable.

Third, giving everything children want will turn them as wasteful person. Some parents might think that they have enough money so their children will not need to work in their whole life and that way it’s okay to spoil the children. That’s wrong again. The children that always get anything are usually will grow become over consumptive person. No matter how much money the parents have, the children will spend it like water bursting from tap and soon they will be poor and don’t know how to earn money.

I know some parents think that they have suffered when they were kid and now they want their children to be happy, have a better life than them by spoiling them. But by spoiling the children they actually ruin their child life in the future. The will not be able to stand with their own leg when the parents are gone.

I personally think that parents shouldn’t give anything their children want, instead the parents need to teach the children to save their money to buy thing they want or use reward system, like they need to get good grades or something like that to get the things they want. It’s much better rather than blindly gave them anything they want. The parents need to teach the children how the world works from early age so they can be great people in their life. It’s for their own goodness in and I’m sure they will understand it and grateful in the future that their parents took the right decision.

Be Wise.

Best Regards,
Sleeping Wiseman